简单英语幽默笑话

　　“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面学习啦小编为大家带来简单英语幽默笑话，欢迎大家阅读!

　　简单英语幽默笑话1：

　　A woman walks up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.

　　"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she says. "What's your secret for a long, happy life?"

　　"I smoke three packs a day, drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods and never, ever exercise."

　　"Wow, that's amazing," says the woman. "How old are you?"

　　"Twenty-six."

　　一位女士走向坐在门廊的椅子上摇动的小老头.

　　“我无意中发现,你是多么幸福,”那女士说.“你幸福而长寿的秘密是什么?”

　　“我每天抽三包烟,每周喝一箱威士忌,吃高脂肪食品,而且从来不曾锻炼.”

　　“哦,真神奇,”女士说.“你高寿?”

　　“26岁.”

　　简单英语幽默笑话2：

　　After burying his mother nine months earlier, a client of the local mortuary finally had enough money to purchase the expensive coffin he'd originally wanted. So we exhumed the body and transferred his deceased mother into the new steel casket. "What's so special about this coffin?" I asked the funeral director. He replied, "It has a lifetime warranty."

　　在将母亲下葬9个月后，当地殡仪馆的一个客户终于攒够了钱去买那副他早就相中的价值不菲的棺材了。他把母亲的棺材挖了出来，将尸体转移到了那副新的钢制棺材中。“这副棺材有什么特别?”，我问葬礼的承办人。他回答说，“这种棺材终生保修。

　　简单英语幽默笑话3：

　　One day after school the teacher said to his students，“Tomorrow morning，if any one of you can answer my first question.I'll permit him or her to go home earlier.” The next day，when the teacher came into the classroom，he found the blackboard daubed.He was very angry and asked，“Who did it?Please stand up! ” “It' s me，”said Bob，“Now，I can go home，Good-bye，Sir! ”

　　一天，放学以后，老师对他的学生们说：“明天上午，如果你们当中的任何一个同学能回答我的第一个问题，我就准许他或她最先回家。”第二天，老师走进教室时发现黑板已被乱涂，他非常生气地问：“谁涂的? 请站起来。”鲍勃说：“先生，是我，现在我可以回家了，再见。”

　　简单英语幽默笑话4：

　　In a cinema during a performance one of the audience gets up, makes his way along the row of seats and goes out into the foyer.

　　在一家电影院里，一名观众在演出期间站了起来，沿着他那排位子走到休息室去了。

　　A few minutes later he returns and asks the man sitting at the head of the row:

　　几分钟后，他回到那排位子并问坐在首位的那位男士道：

　　"Excuse me, was it your foot I stepped on when I was going out a moment ago?"

　　“对不起，请问我刚才出去的时候是踩着你的脚吗?”

　　"Yes, but it doesn't really matter. It didn't hurt at all."

　　“是的，不过没什么关系，一点也不疼。”

　　"Oh, no, it isn't that. I only want to make sure that this is my row."

　　“噢，不，我不是这个意思。我只是想确认一下这是不是我的那排位子。”

 

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